Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Unsure about it . . .

I have not posted in 2 weeks and I really miss it but I have been very unsure lately.  In 4 days, my sweet Aiden should have been 4 months old and instead in 6 days, it has been 3 months since he went to Heaven.  My mind whirls around this and I'm at a complete loss, I know God is holding him in his arms but I should be holding him in mine.  I know I should not dwell on the should or could have beens but I can't help it.  I look at my older two boys and think what we are all missing by not having Aiden in our lives. 

And I'm having a hard time answering the question "How many children do you have?"  I have 3 boys, 2 I get to hold everyday and 1 I held for a very short time - too short. 

I know God has a plan even if I don't know it yet but it will be revealed in time.  For now I have to trust in Him and know that His Love surrounds me everyday. 

March is Trisomy Awareness Month, please say a prayer for all those who have babies in their arms or God's arms with this disorder. 


Restore us, O God Almighty; make Your face shine upon us...

Psalm 80:7

6 comments:

Stacey said...

May you feel God's presence in a special way. I ask Him to wrap His arms around you so that you can feel peace and comfort today!

Carey said...

Friend, I love you & continue to pray for your sweet family! You know I'm only a call away! Always!

Christi said...

Praying for you Ashley! It's been 5 years since my son passed away and I still struggle with that same question, but he is and will always be a part of our family!

Taylor @ The Undomestic Momma said...

Praying for you girl! You are so strong and such an inspiration to so many women!

DC said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DC said...

ok, one more time.... i tried to leave you a message last night and i'm not sure it took! :( so i'm "back" lol but i wanted to let you know in addition to co-producing the dc ladies with my oldest, i also have been writing a blog for almost a year called "I'm Still Standing" and it is about my family and raising a special needs daughter. when i came over to your site after you left the sweet comment about the nail polish from the dc ladies i knew there was more of a personal connection and i wanted to let you know that! so please i'd love for you to follow my families journey on my other blog tooooo
snending prayers and warm wishes for your and your family!
shelley
http://iamstillstandingafterallthistime.blogspot.com/