We went to the appointment not knowing what to expect or what we would be doing, after waiting for an hour to go back we finally went in. The Geneticist was very nice and asked questions, looked at our history, and created a chart of that history. After everything was said and done, she explained that our chances had increased by 1/2 - 1 1/2 % or 1 in 164 that we would have a Trisomy baby. This was something we already knew but hoped she would tell us something, anything. But she couldn't, there is no rhyme or reason, no secret food and/or drink that was consumer or not consumed, nothing absolutely nothing we could have done differently.
To be honest, I really wanted her to tell me because of some medical history who I could blame, but she didn't, I wanted her to tell me I did/ate/drank something wrong, but she wouldn't, i wanted definite answers but she couldn't. I wanted someone/something to blame but the only I can blame is the DEVIL. The one person who wants to do anything in his power to turn us away from God, I'm not giving him that power. God gave me my Miracle, even if for a short time, I heard his heartbeat, I felt the few kicks/moves that I could feel, I held him in my arms, and I love him for eternity. The devil cane never take that away.
NOW - to decide whether we want to possibly try again or possibly adopt. Shane & I have talked even before we married about adopting, that is something we have always wanted to do but I don't know if that is now. I explained it to Shane, it's like the devil said this is it and took Aiden from me and I want to prove him wrong knowing God will take care of things and it's not the devil who has a decision in when I'm finished. Go ahead and say it my direction of thoughts is crazy sometimes but it's the final result that matters - right?! God is in control and He will let us know where our path will lead.
Anyway, that is where we are - no different than before - right now we are happy being Hunter, Mason, and Aiden's parents.
One piece of advice to give anyone who has a family member or friend that has lost a pregnancy, baby, or child please, please don't say the following:
1. maybe it wasn't meant to be
2. are you going to try again
3. maybe you will get that boy/girl next time
I understand people mean well but if you only realized how much that hurts - the pregnancy, baby, or child was/is just as important to us as any other.
He hath made His wonderful works to be remembered: the LORD
is gracious and full of compassion.