Saturday, November 06, 2010

Happy Birthday, Aiden!

Dear Aiden,

Today 1 year ago you were born into this world and it was the happiest day of our lives.  I remember laying in the operating room scared not because of the c-section but of not meeting and holding you.  They whisked you away before I was able to see you and you never made a sound.  I've heard stories of when they showed you to your big brothers that Hunter tried to follow when they took you to NICU.  Both Hunter and Mason love you dearly and pray for you to be happy and healthy in Heaven, which I know you are. 

There are so many things I want to tell you and so many things I know we should be doing.  I held a little boy that was born the day before you and Hunter & Mason were standing beside me and all I could think was this is how it should be. . .
                           my 3 little boys in my arms.

If you were here, you would be walking everywhere, you would be sitting on the floor rolling the ball back and forth with your brothers, you would be trying to get in the kitchen cabinets and would find the one unlocked cabinet that you can play in, you would try coloring with your brothers but would realized eating it is more fun, you would love cuddling at night while Hunter reads his books for school, you would be eating "real" food and loving Cheetos and orange fingers, and you would have worn your first of many Halloween costumes and gone on our neighborhood hayride, you would be getting ready for your 2nd Christmas, YOU WOULD BE HERE.

The days of crying have slowed but have not stopped and never will.  I'm not sure of who I am but I'm sure of who I need to be - a child of Christ.  God's love keeps me going and knowing that there are no goodbye's but I will hold you again.  Heaven became a better place the day you arrived.

We miss you so much but are so happy that you are not suffering and you are healed by God's Grace and Neverending Love.  Thank you Dear Lord for giving us the time we had and giving us the Faith to know we will be together again. 


The LORD will work out His plans for my life--for Your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for You made me.

Psalm 138:8


Shannon said...

Oh Ashley, this is so touching! What a beautiful post to your sweet boy. Your strength is an inspiration...Have a blessed day!

Carey said...


I'm holding Aiden's precious picture in my hands as I read your words...tears fill my eyes. I cannot fathom the hurt and longing that still must be so fresh. I know that the Lord has an unending amount of grace to help you walk through each day. He offers relentless hope that conquers all grief!
I'm so glad that we will be with y'all later to celebrate this special day! Aiden continues to touch and change hearts! To God be the glory!

Lori said...

I'm sorry I didn't get to this the other day...I meant to send something on FB instead, but we ended up with a hospital visit...

Been thinking about you so much, though...knowing how it seems like it's just yesterday and yet, you can't believe it's been that long. Just letting you know you've been in our prayers and on my heart!

Holly said...

Happy 1st Birthday Aiden! Sorry I wasn't around on his actual birthday.

Amy Terral said...

next month, i will remember the birthday of my sweet firstborn, Amanda. She would have been 23 years old this year. We lost her 5 months into my pregnancy. She was very real to us, having felt her moving and flipping for a month before her death. I still remember, i still cry, and it still hurts. You won't ever lose that love for Aiden or the longing to have him here, but you will rest in the peace that God gives you to help you through. This verse is what I cling to when I search for some kind of purpose to our loss...."Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4