Monday, June 07, 2010

Have you missed me? ? ?

Sorry I have not posted in awhile, ok it's actually been a month today.  Wow, time flies!  Honestly I can't say it's been all fun though.  My eldest, Hunter, graduated Kindergarten and is currently playing Pitching Machine while the middle son, Mason, played t-ball, and during all this there has been a lot of tears, fears, and just days that I don't want to think.  I am so very greatful to my sons and hubby, if it weren't for them I would not get out of bed sometimes.  I thought for awhile I was doing really good and then something or nothing at all changes that and I feel like it was yesterday and instead tomorrow it has been 6 months since Aiden went to be with the Lord. 
I'm trying to get back to a "Happy Place" where I remember those precious days and not want to cry everytime.  I always felt so bad for those mothers who lost their children and now I am one and not really sure how to do it.  How do I include him in life without everyone thinking she is dwelling on what she does not have.  It's not that I care what others think but then I don't want them pittying me either or thinking they have to walk on eggshells around me. 
Please forgive me for not blogging and I promise to start back again.

14 comments:

Mom et al said...

Hugs to you. The best thing about blogging is that you do not need to worry about what face you present to the world, or how people tip toe about you. This is your place to say and feel what you need. I wish you peace.

Amber said...

Great to hear from you and praying for peace and comfort.

The Happy Homemaker said...

I have missed you, girl!I am sorry you are having to go through this sadness.Be patient with yourself.You have experienced an ordeal that no mother should have to suffer and you mourn Aiden's loss or celebrate his life as much or as little as you need to, Ashley.Grief is intensely personal and highly individualized.Anyone who has lost a loved one will not judge you, and as for those who DO judge you...honey, they are not worth worrying about.I'm praying you find your way through, dear.

Laura said...

Praying for you! I hope your summer days get easier!

Christi said...

Praying for you too!

Lori said...

Missed you and only those who do not understand the pain of this heartache would think you were dwelling on what you do not have. What you are doing is missing your precious baby boy and that's what mothers do.

You just can't turn that off...I'm sorry it's been so hard.

Lifting you up!
xoxo

Kelly said...

It takes longer than 6 months to learn to live with a grief so large and consuming. It's okay. we are not here to judge you, only to support and love you and encourage you to face another day, and remind you to lean on the Lord.

This is a pain that never goes away, it just gets easier to manage. I'm sending prayers your way.

Holly said...

I think one of the things that makes people comfortable to talk about Carleigh around me is that I smile when I talk about her. They see it makes me happy to have her included.

Stuff could always be worse said...

Welcome back, we get behind but have a life to live
kim

Kim Reese said...

Rely on your faith, God will guide you through this. One day, your sweet boy will be in your arms again. For now, make him proud as he watches you accomplish what you were meant to do. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

sandy said...

ashley - i have missed you and your blog. It's nice running into you at jj when we get the chance...and i've wondered how you were holding up? I check your blog several times a week-i love to read several LP girls stuff....no little ones at home for me..so i can laugh and cry at y'alls experiences. My very favorite picture is the one of your 3 boys feet! i love looking at that! Glad i read this so i now know i can comfortably ask "how you're doing", and i hope you'll be honest, and just tell me. Your friends and family really want to know! Hope your summer and weeks filled with business help you - loved the ball pictures too!

Manhattan Mommy said...

I am so sorry! My prayers are with you.

Felicia said...

Ashley,

Thank you so much for introducing yourself to me over at Southern Mommas. My heart goes out to you and please know that I will be lifting you up in prayer. You have such a precious and sweet family!

Kristin said...

My prayers are with. When we lost our first pregnancy it took me a while to feel semi normal again. I hope you find your happy place soon!!

p.s. Thank you so much for following BonBon Rose Girls! I hope you'll follow us at our new site...we went and got our own .com at: http://www.bonbonrosegirls.com/ Plus, we're hosting lots of fabulous giveaways this month to celebrate our move...Right now we've got two $95 hapari swimsuit gift certificates up for grabs! Hugs, K